Christ the Lord is Risen Today!

 

Christ the Lord is risen today, Alleluia!
Earth and heaven in chorus say, Alleluia!
Raise your joys and triumphs high, Alleluia!
Sing, ye heavens, and earth reply, Alleluia!

 

Love's redeeming work is done, Alleluia!
Fought the fight, the battle won, Alleluia!
Death in vain forbids him rise, Alleluia!
Christ has opened paradise, Alleluia!

 

Lives again our glorious King, Alleluia!
Where, O death, is now thy sting? Alleluia!
Once he died our souls to save, Alleluia!
Where's thy victory, boasting grave? Alleluia!

 

King of glory, soul of bliss, Alleluia!
Everlasting life is this, Alleluia!
Thee to know, thy power to prove, Alleluia!
Thus to sing, and thus to love, Alleluia!

Trust Him

 

In my attempt to protect Kellen and Anna, we chose not to tell them about the pregnancy until we were in the "safe" zone. 

 

God had other plans.

 

He wanted them to learn--by watching Tandon and I learn--what it means to trust Him. 

 

EVEN when life doesn't make sense!   



Here is a conversation I just had with this sweet lady. 

 

*****

Anna: Why are you wearing a mask?

 

Me: To wash my face. 

 

Anna: Oh, to get the zippers off.

 

(Hahaha!  My skin doesn't know what to do with the hormone changes that my body has been going through lately.)

 

Me: Yes, to get the zits off.

 

Anna: Why do only mommy's wash their faces?

 

Me: Well, we wash your face when you take a bath.  And when you grow up you will wash your face every night.

 

Anna: When I grow up I'm only going to eat pizza and macaroni and snacks.  And I'm going to get a baby. 

 

Me: Great!  So I can be a grandma.

 

Anna: Yep.  But if God says no, then I'll just trust Him. 

 

*****

 

"And we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  Romans 8:28



Girl's Weekend



I went to Oklahoma City last weekend to celebrate my cousin Abby's Baby Shower. That's Abby next to me in black. Isn't she adorable?!?

Girl Cousins (minus Hannah and Sarah-Ann)

 Andrea and I modeling our white hair bows.

Shari's Berries!

 My brother sent a text of my niece eating an oreo while he was home on kid duty.  Cutie Pie! 

 In an attempt to take the above picture of our face masks, we accidentally took the picture below. Not sure what we were doing, but I promise that I am not telling Lisa off.  ;)

 Thanks girls for a wonderful weekend of laughter and love!

And thank you, Tandon, for holding down the fort while I was gone! 

"His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning."  Lamentations 3:22-23

Sunshine

 A little bit of sunshine came from Kansas City to visit us last weekend. 
Thank you Shanna, M, and G for hanging out! 
Your presence provided a much needed distraction from the storm. 
We love you guys!! 
 

20 Weeks

I would have been halfway through my pregnancy today. 

Kind of strange to think about.

The process of grief has been different than I expected. 

I haven't read any books on the stages of grief,

but if I were to write one it would go something like this:

#1. shock

#2. extreme sadness

#3. anger

Trying not to camp out at #3 too long. 

Wondering what #4 will bring. 

Hopefully PEACE

Grief also comes in waves.

I'll be going along for a few days thinking everything is good.

Then wake up one morning to find myself back in the muck. 

Sudden waves of unexpected--often unexplained--emotion are the new normal.

Poor Tandon!

Just when he thinks life is on its way back to normal, another wave of grief hits me. 

We'll both be glad when this storm passes. 

I feel like I hold it together pretty well in front of the kids.

But both have been praying that God would "help mommy to stop crying." 

I guess I'm not doing a very good job.

Still amazed at the way people have served us through out this valley.

A friend from church has been watching my kids on Thursday mornings so I can go to the coffee shop to journal and read my Bible. 

(By the way, DO THIS for people in your life who are hurting!  It has been super helpful!)

My time on Thursday mornings has helped me to not get stuck in the sadness or the anger. 

But to focus on the TRUTH. 

I cannot really control the flow of emotions.

However, I am attempting to control my thoughts. 

Read the story of the Fall to my kids this week from The Jesus Storybook Bible.

In it Satan whispers to Eve, "Does God really love you?"

Thousands of years later, he is still using the same tactic. 

I'm trying not to listen. 

Seeking to trust God's Word instead. 

"Trusting God is reasoning with yourself to act upon what you know in your head to be true, even though you do not feel like it is true. " 

~Joni Earickson Tada~

 

"The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in You.  Trust in the LORD forever, for in God the LORD, we have an everlasting Rock. " 

Isaiah 26:3-4

  

"O Heart Bereaved and Lonely" Words by Fanny Crosby

1. O heart bereaved and lonely,
Whose brightest dreams have fled
Whose hopes like summer roses,
Are withered crushed and dead
Though link by link be broken,
And tears unseen may fall
Look up amid thy sorrow,
To Him who knows it all

2. O cling to thy Redeemer,
Thy Savior, Brother, Friend
Believe and trust His promise,
To keep you till the end
O watch and wait with patience,
And question all you will
His arms of love and mercy,
Are round about thee still

3. Look up, the clouds are breaking,
The storm will soon be o'er
And thou shall reach the haven,
Where sorrows are no more
Look up, be not discouraged;
Trust on, whate'er befall
Remember, O remember,
Thy Savior knows it all

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lin3g6l1l4M

A Reason To Celebrate

 Happy 3rd Birthday, Precious Girl!! 

 

 

 We love you SO much!!

Tough Conversations

While snuggling on the couch--

Anna: Are we going to get another baby? 
Me: I hope so.
Anna:  I hope the nother baby doesn't hurt you.  I hope the nother baby doesn't go to heaven. 
Me: Me too, sweetheart.  Me too.

*****

While playing Lego's on the bedroom floor--

Kellen: How much longer are you going to be sad, Mom?

*****

While putting a puzzle together--

Anna: When are we going to get another baby?
Me: Probably not for a long time, but every time we think about it let's ask Jesus to give us another baby.  Okay? 
Anna: But Jesus took our baby to Heaven. 
Me: Yes, He did.
Anna: That was mean.  He is not nice.
How does one even begin to respond to that??  I tried.

*****

While getting ready for bed--

Anna: Where is our baby?
Me: In Heaven with Jesus.
Anna: Not in your tummy any more.
Me: No.
Anna: Is our baby crying?  (She has asked this numerous times.)
Me: No, there is no crying in heaven.  Our baby NEVER had to cry and NEVER will cry. 

*****

Every phrase of Anna's prayers begin with, 'thanks for...'

Anna's prayer before bed--

"Thanks for Grandma coming to our house.  Thanks for Grandpa coming to our house. And thanks for our nother baby not to go to heaven. Amen." 

Finding the New Normal

It's been two weeks since our lives changed forever. 

Random things bring tears, but overall I would say that I have an amazing amount of peace.

Peace that passes all understanding. 

*****

Not sure what we would have done without the body of Christ serving us during this difficult time. 

Friends, family, neighbors, church members, and co-works brought food (tons of food!), watched our children, sent flowers, prayed, called, sent texts, emails, and facebook messages. 

All I can say is:  THANK YOU!! 

My parents were saviors.  Thank you Mom and Dad for coming--just in time.  God knew when we would need you! 

And thank you Mom for keeping life as normal as possible for my kids, keeping us fed and clothed, working your organizing magic in my tiny house, being there to speak TRUTH during my breakdowns, cleaning Anna's throw-up, and simply loving on us.  Love you!  So much!!